Rottin' in Denmark

Evolution: 1, God: 0

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:10:33 -0700

I've never really understood the debate 'between' Evolution and Creationism. Just say that God invented evolution and let's be friends again.

As long as the fight continues, though, I might as well share this comic, which appears to be a response to a well-known YouTard explaining the reasons why the banana is irrefutable evidence that God created the heavens and the fruits.

Atheists nightmare

Suck it, Genesis.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

"'Legend' is petite and diamond-hard man with dreadlocks and a Tyson-esque lisp..."

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Fri, 30 May 2008 05:10:03 -0700

This is the best thing I have seen in months. It starts out

I got another cryptic text from a friend last Friday afternoon: “Fight Club in Union Square. GET HERE.”

And just gets better from there.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

1,000 words about my weekend

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Sun, 11 May 2008 07:08:33 -0700

Sweats

via

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I am patriotic as hell

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:04:07 -0700

... for Seattle.

Chris Rock said this at a show the other day:

"I love Seattle 'cause it's the home of Starbucks ... and the home of Sir Mix-A-Lot. 'Baby Got Back' is for amateurs. 'Posse on Broadway' is the cut."

Any non-Seattleites know what he's talking about?

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I've had this conversation

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:26:07 -0700

From Prolific Squalor [a blog of IM conversations]:

A: I drunk-dialed C Friday night, apparently.
A: My ex
B: Wow. You don’t remember doing this
B: ?
A: I DO NOT.
A: In fact, when discussing the night’s events with someone who was also there, I said, “Well, at least I didn’t drunk-dial C.”
B: Wow. That is catastrophic intoxication, when you don’t remember doing things
A: This is a lot of things.
A: First of all, I don’t have C’s number in my phone anymore, so I not only remembered it (not hard to believe) but dialed it accurately. This is on top of arranging for a place to stay and making a pretty long journey on foot to get there.
B: That’s funny
A: I also woke up and found I’d done my taxes.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Truth dispatches from home

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:15:44 -0700

My Seattle friend, on becoming friends with someone he used to dislike:

One, or perhaps both of us, has become less conceited and self righteous (I'm thinking him, because if anything I think I'm worse).

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

My favorite new blog

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:10:37 -0700

compiles real IM conversations. Watch:

A: In my endless isolated time, my mind has created new compound insults.
A: Through free association at first, but then they became hardened.
A: I’ve found that adding “mother” to specific sex acts creates a much more obscene expression than merely “motherfucker.”
B: I can see that
A: Adding in shit-related stuff really takes it to the next level.
A: If I walked down the street mumbling these things audibly, I’d be sent to an institution.
B: One of my favorites is to use an insult that is completely inane, or simply disturbing. Such as, “Even your momma wouldn’t suck your dick, man!”
B: And then treat it as though it was devastating.
A: That does seem like a sound strategy.
B: I like using “syphilitic”
B: Like “syphilitic dick scar”
A: That is a great one.
A: Herpetic is also fun.
A: “open herpetic sore”
B: Definitely
B: Many of the venereal diseases work
A: You reeking flow of gonnerheal pus!
A: I think we’ve opened a whole new class of insults here that are vastly underused.
A: Don’t accuse the person of even having the disease — just directly call them the symptom.
B: hepatitic B motherfucker
A: You blackened hepatitic liver
A: Hairy anal wart would be nice.
A: Or calling them the hair itself, growing out of an anal wart.
B: shit-stained hair growing out of an anal wart
A: Yes!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

This comment pretty much sums up my entire generation

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:10:29 -0800

Last weekend me and a friend saw an epic indie band in a cellar-venue:

Me: How the hell do you dance to this music?

Friend: Like it hurts.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Today in offensiveness: Mazel tov, sucka!

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:51:32 -0800

I paid a dollar for this book today at a used bookstore. Did America force publishers to send all their best race-baiting lit to New Zealand in the 80s or something?

Back in the era when you were allowed to write books like this, I wonder what the average distance was between the word 'Jews' on the cover and a graphic of a giant diamond. On this one it's about 7 cm.

The inside cover text is appetizing:

That's John Shaft. Supercool private eye on an incredible retainer from seven Hassidic Jews - Diamond merchants who decide this dark uptown dude is mean and wily enough to handle a caper involving five murders, synthetic jewels, the mid-east arms race and an international shyster with dreams of ruling the world - until he runs into SHAFT AMONG THE JEWS

I think I had an 'incredible retainer' in the seventh grade. I'm already hooked.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Sometimes 15 words is all you need to know

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 19:20:45 -0800

When police asked the man what caused the accident, his one-word answer was "pterodactyl."

Read and post comments | Send to a friend