Speaking in a foreign language: Helping me be a dick since 2007
I had the following interaction in Danish at a cafe today:
Sketchy dude: Hey man, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm an artist, and I thought you might want to look at my paintings [thrusts stack of paintings toward me].
Me: No thanks.
Sketchy dude: Look, I just need some help, man, I made these paintings, and --
Me: No.
Sketchy dude: You can just look at them, you don't even have to --
Me: I'm studying right now. Thanks, but no.
Sketchy dude: [leaves]
That's right, I'm an asshole. Maybe it's something to do with the English language, but I usually make excuses with random-walker-uppers, like "I would, I don't have any money", "I'm in a hurry", etc. For some reason, though, in Danish I just act like the fucking Terminator. No courtesy, no excuses, no mercy.
Thank God I managed to become 1.5-lingual in a deeply introverted language. If I spoke Italian or something, that interaction probably would have gone on for hours, and would have ended with me inviting the Hobohemian to live with my parents.
Comments
9 years ago I was stupid enough to buy one of the drawings that HE MADE BY HIMSELF. just to find the exact same poster in double size in my friends toilet.
then last winter I took this fpicof him while he went to sleep inside the bar after I said no thank you about 10 times before he accepted a no.
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f312/jesus32/the_sketchy_poster_dude_sleeping_in.jpg
One day about one year ago, I was waiting for the train to Rødby Færge at Københavns Hovedbanegård. Suddenly this weird black guy came to me with his stack of "drawings he made himself" and asked me to take a look at them.
I said "No man, my train is just about to arrive! I have no time for this" but before I finished that sentence, he was gone. So there I was, standing with a bunch of extremely random cardboard copies of something that might vaguely resemble the work of a traditional African artist. I felt extremely stupid among all those people, but luckily he was sure to come back for his "drawings" sometime.
I took a brief look at the stack, and wondered what the fuck was going on.
Then I placed the stack leaning towards the wall and waited another five to ten minutes. Suddenly he was there again, "What do you think? They only cost XX crowns. It is very cheap!" I don't remember the time at this moment but it was not cheap at all for some lame cardboard copies. So I just said: "No man, i haven't got any money, but these are really good drawings!"
You know, that speech you give to a five-year-old when they show you their latest creation of mish-mash combined with the "avoid-buying-crap-while-still-being-polite" speech you give to telephone salesmen or other bums.
He tried once again to convince me that it was an incredible offer, but i said no and went down to the train.
Luckily I have never encountered him again.
If something similar ever happens, I will be cold as ice and tell them were to put their crap: Where the sun don't shine.
By the way, good luck on the danish grounds mate!